Trying to Start Close In

I have a lot of plans. Most of which will never leave my mind, let alone get spoken out loud or recorded in written word. A multitude of fantastical fantasies, each detailing how my future could unravel itself successfully. So much of my day and my formal meditation time is spent in my head like this. It’s wonderfully easy to do. In fact, I am an expert at it. If you want guidance as to how to waste your time running stories around and around, I’m your man.

So when I heard David Whyte’s poem “Start Close In” recently I could see myself clearly pictured amongst his words and especially the part

Don’t take, the second step, or the third, start with the first, thing, close in, the step, you don’t, want to take.

from River Flow: New and Selected Poems

Passing time in my head rather than here in the present, in this body, is no challenge. There is no resistance here. It is comfortable. Which is why it is also such a beguiling place to reside for extended periods. So I have made myself a promise to put more effort in moving away from the facile second and third steps and take a ‘small step I can call my own’.

You can find him on facebook at @PoetDavidWhyte

Here he is reading his poem. Underneath are the printed lines of the verse

START CLOSE IN

Start close in,
don’t take 
the second step
or the third,
start with the first
thing
close in,
the step
you don’t 
want to take.

Start with
the ground
you know,
the pale ground
beneath your feet,
your own
way to begin
the conversation.

Start with your own
question,
give up on other
people’s questions,
don’t let them
smother something
simple.

To hear
another’s voice,
follow
your own voice,
wait until
that voice
becomes an
intimate
private ear
that can
really listen
to another.

Start right now
take a small step
you can call your own
don’t follow
someone else’s
heroics, 
be humble
and focused,
start close in,
don’t mistake
that other
for your own.

Start close in,
don’t take
the second step
or the third,
start with the first
thing
close in,
the step
you don’t 
want to take.

Barry White and Mindfulness

I own no right to this image at all

Earlier today I heard “Let the music play” for the first time in I don’t know how long. I am not a Mr White officianado, but I do love this tune and especially the long version. In it Barry is out walking the streets after what we can presume is a barney with his woman. Barry is feeling bad about this, very bad in fact. He happens upon a night club and once inside,as the title suggests, just wants the dj to let the music play all through the night so he can dance away his blues.

Everyone fails and has their plans thwarted. We all make mistakes and do and say things we regret both instantly and over a long period. So we all are intimate with that feeling of rawness and vulnerability when it happens. Often, we try mask those sensations by muffling or running away from them. But doing this just denies reality. Refusing to accept such emotions leads us to blaming others and/or ourselves and eventually to addictions, both gentle and harsh.

Instead we could try to lean in a little to the pain and learn to relax a bit with the truth of change and groundlessness. If that happens, then we can begin to experience that just as circumstances are always impermanent, then so are our feelings and emotions. They are not us, they too are merely passing by. When we have that knowledge, we will not only be kinder to ourselves, but a compassion for all people will naturally arise as we see how everyone is sailing this same storm.

In fact, we can tell that Barry White did this. He must have paused, breathed and turned towards feelings of pain and negativity. If he had never done that in his life he could not have written such words and the tune to go with them. By “holding the rawness of vulnerability in his heart” (Pema Chodron) he has seen a common humanity in suffering and made some dam funky art out of it.

I’m out here dancing and still/ I can’t erase the things I feel.

The balance of mindfulness

Old Sarum

You sit down, get comfortable, straighten your back, allow the attention to rest on the breath and within five seconds bang! away goes the mind. Normally you might either fight these thoughts and feelings or get washed downstream with them. In mindfulness though, the invitation is to notice this pulling away from the present moment and come back to just the bare knowing of what is happening right now. And we do this again and again and again.

Therefore its not important what turns up in the mind; the content is just the content and it arises, hangs around a while and disbands before being replaced by an endless supply of more content. Instead, the practice is how we relate to what is arising. So the intention is neither to deny and push back against what is present, nor get drawn in and overwhelmed by it, but rather, to observe and witness it as best we can.

So mindfulness is a balancing relationship with whatever is present and this being balanced needs a light touch and a gentle and kind awareness of what is here. That is how we try to relate to ourselves whilst practicing

I wrote this having listened to Episode 1 of Sharon Salzburg’s Metta Hour podcast on Spotify. This episode contains a lovely mindfulness practice at the end as well.

https://open.spotify.com/embed-podcast/episode/5dlh7UeAX39ofOPabgJP4g

The part of the practice that really struck home for me and inspired this short post was from about 25 minutes in and you can listen to this below

A mindfulness practice for our Coronavirus times

The recent big changes in all our circumstances has brought uncertainty and anxiety for everyone. More than usual maybe, our thoughts and emotions may run away with us and leave us confused and upset.

This brief mindfulness practice is offered as a way of dropping in to the present moment; noticing our fears and concerns and then maybe letting go of them as well.

Before starting it you should find yourself a quietish place and a chair in which you can ‘sit well’. However the practice goes for you, see it as a time in which you have spent looking after your own well being; your mental and your physical health. There is no right way to feel doing this practice – whatever arises for you is just how it is in this moment. So if possible you should not judge the time you spend sitting as either good or bad.

If you have any questions before or after following these guidelines then please do email me at philip@trustingmind.co.uk

Mindfulness of breath and body

The First Free Women

I’ve never reviewed a book of poems before, let alone one that is ‘the world’s oldest collection of women’s literature’. But as soon as this was delivered I was picking it up daily to read or reread or re-reread a poem. This is without doubt an inspiring collection, oozing with both courage and compassion. These no nonsense lines of early, early Buddhist verse were written by the very first women to practice meditation. They are all anyone could want in honest encouragement in what it is like practicing mindfulness and meditation; how it is frequently seriously difficult but also how it can be fantastically rewarding for both ourselves and others.

There are stories of unimaginable struggle:

do you remember when disease came to your family,

you were the only one to survive?

and

A life of debts I could never repay

pushing in on all sides

like the weight of the sea

The more you read these poems, the more the change in living conditions but the disappointingly familiar struggles for women become clearer and clearer.

But most strongly you come away with an understanding of the immeasurable potential there is in all of us, whatever our present situation.

And so this is an uplifting, barefacedly-honest poetry collection that talks of resilience and joy and of letting your mind go…… its well worth your time.

The Monkey Mind by Carolyn Kanjuro

This new box of 30 ‘meditation cards’ for children to use arrived this week and I very much like the first look of it. Each of the card ls has an animal (Singular Salmon or Brave Butterfly for example) or a natural feature (Hurricane, Starry Night are two) as a title. They also have three simple to follow steps and a key phrase. All this means children will easily be able to connect with what they are being asked to do. Hopefully then, if they are presented in a right way by a skilled and kind guide the benefits could be huge.

I shall be employing these with my classes as soon as I can. This pack looks like an excellent addition to the tools available to children’s mindfulness teachers.

No definitions

Mindfulness can help us live better lives both for ourselves and for others. So a definition of what it is is not nearly as useful as what it does how it functions. Mindfulness

“helps us develop a capacity for flexibility rather than rigidity, responsiveness rather than reactivity”

Feldman and Kuyken in “Mindfulness: ancient wisdom, modern psychology”

We practice mindfulness and a gap can grow between stimulus and response. And in this response

“lies our freedom and our power to choose our response.”

Viktor Frankl

Therefore mindfulness gives us a chance to live more wisely. We start by noticing the present moment just as it is; without associations to past events or future planning. When attention is paid in this way awareness arises. This in turn creates in our minds an investigative wisdom that brings an understanding of what is nourishing and what is depleting. So a continued practice of mindfulness can create compassion for both ourselves and the people and environment around us. We can ‘open the clenched fist in our mind, let go and fall into the midst of everything’. Which is as close to a definition of mindfulness as I’d like to get today.

Slow walking, Mindful walking

We all have those times, the times when the busy-ness envelops and fills us and there seems to be no time to take even a single breath. This has happened to me recently. So waking on Saturday morning I decided to be in NO RUSH AT ALL. Instead of my usual sitting meditation, I opted to do something different and walked out the front door having no particular aim or route in mind, apart from to take my time. Walking with no goal is a luxury difficult to pursue during the week and so it is one I love to cultivate and indulge in at other times.
Personally, I find slow walking can bring me less clarity than sitting practice. But slow (as opposed to mindful) walking has a looseness to it that means it is often easier for me to blend practice and ‘normal life’. Even early on a Saturday morning there are people and events to contend with, so that just walking mindfully is difficult. So I can be aware of the feeling in my feet for a few steps but then be distracted by having to step aside to allow a man and his dog to pass and or by the noise fumes of a bus pulling away. Only sometime later being able to return to more mindful walking. However, this mix can lessen the feeling of “getting it wrong” that so often taints my sitting practice.
But slow walking isn’t a cop out and a lesser activity than others. I find it helps increases my ability to sense my own surroundings. This morning I walked toward the town centre and so I was noticing features and details I have usually passed by in ignorance.

There was a tree half down from this week’s winds

And there was goal/ basketball net play area

Slow walking can bring a focus and appreciation to what is around us. We can feel happier in our selves and our environment. It sometimes heightens awareness of our senses and adds an excitement to our moment-by-moment experience. But what I really like is I when I find mindful walking having a longer and more noticeable impact on the rest of my day. After slow walking this morning and without planning to, I was just aware of the fall of my feet on the kitchen lino and later of the sight of a female blackbird shuffling on the garden fence.
Slow walking enables us to better watch both our thoughts and people whistle past us. We may well see ourselves and our limitations and restrictions reflected back to us in those figures. Maybe then we might develop a little more empathy for other people’s packed and stress-filled lives as well as our own.

It is the pausing and deliberate deceleration that allows attention to be more focussed and then awareness and mindfulness to arise. Mindfulness is there always, but we have allowed it to become buried under all those other thoughts; raking over our past or planning our future. Slow walking can help us reconnect with our own experience in this moment especially if it is combined with a regular sitting practice of mindfulness. This in turn can bring contentment, a feeling of gratitude for what we have and more empathy and compassion for our fellow human beings.

Is Mindfulness a superpower?

I do like this short video from Happify that explains how mindfulness, while not being a panacea for all the world’s and your own problems, can help us deal with the negative events and emotions in our lives. What it omits to emphasises however is how mindfulness also enables us to notice more clearly the positive and wonderful parts of our day and our life. Mindfulness is also hear for the good stuff.

A simple definition of mindfulness

This is taken straight from Tchich Nhat Hanh and his book ‘Silence’ which I highly recommend.

“The practice of Mindfulness is very simple. You stop, you breathe, you still your mind. You come home to yourself and come home to the here and now in every moment.”

Not only is this occasionally my own experience, but it reminds me of the dot b practice I teach to young people. This comes in four parts, though I only actually teach the first three as I am not skilled enough to do the last step; I leave that to my participants.

Stop

Notice your feet

Pay attention to your breath

Be

That the teaching I try to share mirrors what one of the world’s ‘guiding lights (Times Literary Supplement) on Mindfulness is saying I find both reassuring and marvellously uplifting.