New Year’s resolutions? Give good fortune a helping hand instead.

It’s New Year’s and all the talk is of the opportunity to throw out the old self and design a new and improved version. Markers like New Year are the most effective time to set goals; the brain is ready and open to see the opportunity for change. But resolutions are often underpinned by assumptions we should be better than we are now, and what we are at the moment is not good enough. In such a context the desire for change risks being an aggressive act toward ourselves, inviting in, or amplifying, low self esteem and self hate.

I recently heard someone describe good luck as needing a bit of a push whereas bad luck is a ruder god that comes crashing in, unexpected and unsolicited. The same applies to resolutions and targets. For the good stuff to happen we need to create suitable space and conditions for it to enter and establish itself. Striding out to reach goals whilst simultaneously shutting down unpleasantness and pain merely glosses over the real issues. Those feelings will only return later accompanied and strengthened by that rude god. Neurosis and wisdom can come from the same place. If we deny the former we can also alienate ourselves from the latter. In this way, Pema Chodron describes meditation as:

“Seeing clearly the body that we have, the mind that we have, the domestic situation that we have, the job that we have and the people who are in our lives. It’s seeing our emotions and thoughts just as they are right now, in this very moment, in this very room, on this very seat. It’s about not trying to make them go away, not trying to become better than we are, but just seeing clearly with precision and gentleness.”

Pema Chodron from “The Wisdom of No Escape”

And so with this New Year, or this new month, new week, new day or new hour or even with this next new breath, we can simply pause and notice how it is for us right now. What is the body like? The emotions? The thoughts? The wisdom this develops will nurture the good in our lives allowing it the space to grow. We will have given ‘good luck’ the little push it required.